Double Deuce

In exactly four minutes, I will be 22 years old.

So yeah, that's cool. But what have I accomplished? Well, er... hummm... Let's make a list:

When I was in 6th grade I won a writing contest for high school students, and I think I got published in a book of short stories somewhere, but good luck finding it

I walked at 8 months, which means it only took me 240 days to figure out how to stop falling down. "Take that gravity, booyah!" I would have said, if I could speak.

One time I saved a kid who was almost drowning.

I didn't quite suck at snowboarding as much as I thought I would the last time I went.

When I was ten, I got up in front of like 5,000 people and sang "Hero" by Mariah Carey. I think that was when I was too young to be scared out of my mind of singing in front of large groups.

I won DECA State two years in a row, in Financial Managment Decision Making. I never studied, and I hate banks.

I've been to Disney World twice.

I once got to participate in a Pirate ship activity that involved throwing cannonballs.

I've been to Nassau.

A few months ago, I finally got to go to Graumann's Chinese Theater. Matt Damon has freakishly small hands.

I graduated high school and went on to college. Trust me, where I come from, that's way cool.

I kissed the 2004 national DECA president on live television.

I've been on TV lotsa times. Lame, KBYU TV.

I have still never been arrested.

I once drove Hawthorne Heights to a haunted house, and made up a story that made the base player scream like a little girl.

When I was in high school, Reel Big Fish came into Coldstone while I was working and I had them sign my timecard for my brother.

I've never drank alcohol, smoked, or puked in a sock drawer.

I've written about 5 book outlines, but still no proposals.

I almost pierced my belly button, once. (Robbie wouldn't let me, but I would have)

I lived in Hawaii, and jumped off waterfalls almost every day after work.

I lived in Vail, and it was freaking cold.

I tripped over Shaun White.

I can play one song on the guitar. I don't know the words yet.

I have two of the coolest brothers EVER.

I made friends with a four year old who doesn't like ANYBODY. And I did it with cheese.

I could sing the entire score of Phantom of the Opera, with lyrics, when I was 8.

I taught roughly 60 people how to salsa dance one summer.

I once taught someone my own version of the discussions, three days before I never saw her again. I wonder if she ever read the book I gave her.

I lived in a nudist colony camp for a week when I was 14, but there was a strict "clothes on in front of visitors" policy. Thaaankfullyyy...

I've done nine internships.

My mom still doesn't know about the time I got in trouble at girls camp for stealing 40 lbs of green beans. We gave em back! Eventually.

I go to BYU, I'm over 21, and I'm still single!

I still talk to my best friend from when I was 12.

I still haven't graduated, and I don't care if I was supposed to.

I have remained alive and relatively healthy for 21 years, 23 hours, and five minutes. And still breathing!

And now, for my greatest accomplishment of all, I am going to try to go to bed before midnight!!! (A first in a very long time)

Why I Never Learn My Lesson:

I would just like to take a brief moment to say, HA. Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha. This goes out to all the hundreds of students who waste time studying every day. Those who camp out in the library, who give up opportunities to grab pizza on the way to (or in lieu of) classes, and those who don't date because they "are too busy with school".

I am here to tell you that all of these "time proven" and "classic" strategies of study are overrated. And I MIGHT get thrown into Karma hell for saying this, but it's true this semester. At least for me.

Can I get a witness that I did not go to class for at least 1/3 of the semester, not because I had any truly pressing engagements or emergencies, but mostly because I just "didn't feel like it"? Or that I stayed up all night the week of finals watching Youtube videos and knitting, instead of cramming? For one of my finals, I literally just walked in and took it without looking at a book beforehand. But did this stop me from having a positive attitude? No, it DID NOT!

Alas, my friends. I fear that I may be permanently ruined by my continuous occurences of freak academic luck. If we had skin on our teeth, as the adage says, mine would probably be gone by now, due to frequently catching the edge of an grade with minimal effort on my part. It only adds insult to the injuries of fairness that I got an A in almost every class. Indeed. I am probably going to be punished for this in the long run.

But for now, I'm not sorry!