Sunday, December 06, 2009


Okay, so I've concluded (based on past advice from my longtime writing idol and bosom facebook friend, Suz B., as well as some thoughts of my own rendering) that I need to start blogging again as often as possible.

This is for two reasons: One, as a daily warm up to keep my fingers limber for the task at hand--as though putting in countless hours each day at work typing up docs orders and diagnoses as complicated in spelling as the elusive hematochezia...which I can't help laughing at because it sounds like "toe cheese"...but in actuality it's a very serious ailment and not funny at all. Heh--and...where was I?

Oh yes. Point number two, which was that if I don't keep blogging and something terrible--such as hematochezia, or something not nearly as hilarious sounding but equally dire--were to happen to me, the world might pass on never knowing the inner workings of my fabulous mind.

So here it is, today's quintessential blog, (never really grasped the semantics of that word fully, but love using it because it just sounds so important. Almost like it's the perfect embodiment of all words meaning "totally awesome".) in which I will unburden myself from a few things I've been meaning to get off my metaphorical chest:

1. I know this isn't really shocking, but I'm obsessed with really stupid made for TV movies. Especially ones that appear on the Scifi channel, like the Ginger Snaps series. Horrible acting? Yes. Can I stop watching? I'll try...

2. I've always been secretly envious of people who can crank out a masterpiece and manage to surprise everybody. I'm not talking about those famous serial killers, who once they've been revealed all their friends and neighbors are like, "Oh my gosh, but he seemed so... nice. So harmless!" Then again, maybe I am. Because one day, I'd like to write a book that gets made into a movie or heck, even a TV show, and I'll be shooting the bull on Craig Ferguson and all my friends and former classmates back home will be all, "Wow, is that the weird girl from eighth grade biology? Never thought she'd ever amount to anything spectacular."

3. For the past several Years, I've had a secret crush on Neal McDonough. I don't know if it's the cool, collected exterior...or the Lemon Head charm... whatever it is. He's hot. And I would totally go see a romantic comedy starring him, providing there are also guns and stuff in it.

4. My former professor sent me an e-mail yesterday asking when I was going to turn in my internship paperwork, and I had a tiny, momentary nervous breakdown. Because I graduated like, six months ago. It was exactly like one of those dreams you have where you're back in high school and it's graduation...and they tell you that you have to take high school all over again, even though you're now twenty five and married. But this one was worse, because I wasn't entirely certain she was kidding.

5. I have like thirty followers on Twitter, even though I've only posted stuff on there like, twice. Instead of being flattered by this, I'm really a bit creeped out. In fact, it's recently become a habit to look both ways before I get into the car.

6. My life really isn't that interesting. But you probably already knew that.

7. Sometimes, I have no idea what day it is. Yesterday this woman came into the hospital and she was like, "Oh, I was here on June 10th, dearie. So you can find my records, right?" And I said, "Sure, no problem. Those don't drop out of the server until they're like a month old." She looked at me like I was sassing her, but I honestly wasn't being sarcastic. I just happen to live in a black hole where time and space have little or no meaning.

Anyway, that's about all I can come up with at the moment. These posts will get better as I practice more. I can almost promise.


Vero Awesome said...

Man, I feel like I might have been on crack when I wrote this. Who says "like" twelve times in one posting? Someone on crack, that's who. ...Or possibly my sister in law.

Janell said...

*refraining on lecture of semantics of the word quintessential*

You're so not 25 in appearance.

You twitter?

More practice so I have more to read!